Bad Roommate Meets Even Worse Girlfriend
by Kagu-tsuchi-13
Summary: André quickly learned that you should never be a bad guest. Especially when your hostess's girlfriend happens to be Jade West.


**I put some other things on hold just to get this out. I normally do not relate to a show like Victorious, but I could more than relate to this as I have been fucked over by roommates in more ways then I can count.**

**I really hate that André did not get called out for his asshole behavior. Since I could not call him out on it, I did the next best thing. And as you know, you do not fuck with Jade West.**

******On an unrelated note, I am now 23 years old. I am going to look back at all that I accomplished in life. Wow, that didn't take long.**

* * *

"You mean he ate the entire thing himself?" Jade asked, having just finished hearing about today's events. She rose up to readjust the pillow that she had been lying on, then lied back down to continue hearing about what had happened.

"A whole family pot pie," Tori informed, her voice filled with disdain. "He had the gall to claim that he thought that we each got our own pie."

That made Jade crack up. She ran her fingers over Tori's bare torso, making light traces to the exposed skin. She could feel every single one of her girlfriend's ribs. How the hell could André believe that she could finish an entire family pot pie? She would not say it to her face, but Tori did not look like she could even finish one of those tiny pies that you put in the microwave.

"I know what will make you feel better," she whispered seductively, lightly blowing into Tori's ear.

"Oh?" Tori responded, a small grin appearing.

Tori was soon on her back, her shirt having been discarded. Jade went about her usual routine, though her mind was elsewhere.

She was a bit upset that Tori's parents were letting André stay here. It was not that she was threatened by him. She just thought it was a double standard, seeing as she was not allowed to spend the night. It was like they did not trust her alone with their daughter. She continued to hold on to that sentiment while she undid the claps on Tori's bra.

Jade soon got more and more into it. By the time that Tori had taken control and shoved her onto her back, she was clad in only her socks and pentagram necklace.

"Hey Tor, where do you keep the scented moisturizer?" said the voice of an unwanted figure that had manifested at the doorway.

Jade did not have to look up to know who it was. He was lucky that she was not decent. That was the only reason that she wasn't reaching for her scissors.

"Andre!" Tor suddenly screamed, snatching one of the pillows and putting it in front of her exposed chest.

There it was! Got to love Tori and her delayed reactions. Jade might have found it mildly amusing, had he not just interrupted them while she was in the zone.

"Oh, didn't know you ladies were busy," he said with a perverted chuckle.

Jade did not want to talk to him in her indecent state; she barely liked talking to him when she was fully dressed. But when it became apparent that he was not going to leave or even attempt to divert his eyes, she decided to speak up.

"Could you go far away from here?" she groaned, rising up while making sure that she did not expose any part of herself that she did not normally display to the public. Only her girlfriend and gynecologist got that honor.

"Yeah, sure," he said, still doing his annoying chuckle. "Hey, if you ladies need some company."

Was he seriously suggesting a threesome?

"If I wasn't naked I would get up and shank you." Sticking a bare arm out from under the blanket, she attempted to grab her scissors off the nightstand to show him that she meant business.

"Alright, I'm going," he said, his voice having turned sour. "I don't care for white girls anyway."

Once she was sure that he was gone and not coming back, she rose up completely and turned to Tori. "Didn't he have a crush on me once?"

Tori shrugged in response.

Shaking it off, she lightly shoved Tori on her back to restart their activities; all while hoping that they would not be rudely interrupted again. It was bad enough when Trina did it.

This would not be a problem if Tori was allowed to lock the door. Or if she had a door to lock.

Yep, Tori's non-trusting parents went and removed the door after they caught Tori and herself in the act.

Jade still did not think that that was right; she was a strong believer that the punishment should fit the crime. And they got caught doing it on the kitchen table, not in the bedroom.

* * *

Jade had woken up sometime around three to get herself some milk. She was halfway back to her room, glass in hand, when she realized that she had left her bra in Tori's room. She did not want to risk leaving that there and have one of the Vega parents find it; there was no chance in hell that her A-cup girlfriend could claim that it was her own.

As she put her car in park and turned off the engine, having parked on the other side of the street just in case Mr. Vega was on the night shift, she silently hoped that Tori was awake. Then again, from what Tori had told her, she would be thanks to André's shitty piano playing at hours that normal people slept.

Making her way across the street, she debated on whether or not to text Tori or try to sneak up to her room. If she could somehow manage to climb up there then she might be able to get some early morning action.

That settled that. Grabbing the ladder that she used to get in and out of Tori's bedroom, she positioned it just outside her window, and after making sure that it was secure, she started on her way up.

She felt like Sam on Clarissa Explains it All. She really liked that show. She used to wonder if Sam and Clarissa were fucking. The fact that Sam always climbed in through the window instead of using the front door lead her to believe that, yes, they were probably fucking all the time.

That thought stayed with her until she made her way into Tori's bedroom.

She quickly located her bra hanging on a lampshade. Once it was safely tucked into the pocket of her jacket, she began scouting the room for any signs of her girlfriend. She did not have to search long as she heard Tori's voice shout out something that she could not quite make out.

The ruckus seemed to be coming from the living room. Never one to pass up a good brawl, she moved closer to get a better observation.

"And stick your face in my family pot pie!"

"Okay, if you are going to treat me like this then I am going to go on home. What do you think of that?"

"It was my idea!"

Jade paused to take all this in. Where did he get off? She had done many a horrible thing to many persons, animals, and etc. Not to mention the numerous things that she had done to her girlfriend during their frenemy stage. But she had always acted as a gracious guest. And that included when she stayed with Cat and had to endure that whole knock knock joke shit.

She was about to go give him a piece of her mind when he started talking again.

"Listen, about your mom's pot pie."

"What?"

"I've had better."

That tore it. You do not treat your hostess that way. Especially when she is also the girlfriend of Jade Alicia West.

She stormed her way down just as Tori was hurling a cushion at the door. She hoped that she could catch him before he left. She walked right past Tori, who looked exhausted.

"Jade, where did you come from?"

"I will be back in a minute, Babe."

She made it out to the porch just as he was unlocking the door to his shitty car. "Where the hell do you get off?" she demanded rather loudly, not caring who heard her.

"Excuse you," he snapped back, not looking up.

"The Vegas were nice enough to allow you to stay with them, for free at that, and you have been an ungrateful jackass the entire time you have been here!"

"I really don't think this concerns you," he said coldly, finally turning around to look her in the eye. That was his first mistake.

"When it involves my girlfriend it does," she growled, giving him one of her deathly stares, looking very similar to a grizzly bear that was about to maul it's victim.

"You best back off, I don't want to hurt you," he said, pushing up his chest as he spoke.

Jade let out a loud and audible laugh to let him know that she was not at all threatened. He may have some visible muscle, but she knew for a fact that he was a bigger pussy than Beck.

"Tori has been more than gracious letting you stay here. And you have shit all over her kindness. Where do you get off eating pies without asking and playing the damn piano at three in the morning?"

"Well..uh..the pie wasn't that good. And, uh, it's not like I was playing that loud."

"You left your grandma's house because she was being obnoxious and then you go and be even more obnoxious to your best friend. Do you not see the irony in that?"

"Hey..well...she did... say that I could stay with her," he said, this time much more hesitantly, as if he was realizing just how big of an asshole he was being.

"Now go and apologize!" she demanded, standing erect while crossing her arms over her chest to let him know that she meant business.

He made no movement whatsoever.

"I said go and apologize," she repeated. She stuck her hand in the jacket pocket that contained her bra and took hold of it, giving the illusion that she was reaching for the handle to her scissors.

"Okay, okay, damn," he groaned, as he walked past her and back into the house.

After giving them a respectful few minutes, Jade made her own way inside just as they were hugging it out. They still appeared to be tense, but she knew that they would work it out. These problems always seemed to solve themselves.

"See ya," he said, after they had broken apart. He left again, giving Jade no acknowledgment.

"Wow," Tori said, flopping on the couch, her skinny body making a small wooshing sound when it made impact.

Jade quickly sat down in the spot next to her. "Yeah," she agreed, sympathetically placing a hand on Tori's slightly twitching leg.

"My life is so stressful," Tori whined, burying her hands into her face.

Smiling deviously, Jade pulled her hands away and whispered into her ear. "I can help you unwind."

"It's late and I should really...ahh!"

Jade let off a chuckle. Her hand had found it's way into Tori's pajama pants while Tori had been blabbing.

"Jade, really we should..ahh! Okay, maybe just a quick one."

Smiling in victory, Jade went about stripping them both. She was in the midst of pulling Tori's pajama top off when something occurred to her.

"Hey Babe, do you think that Clarissa and Sam ever did it?"

* * *

"Come on, Babe," Jade groaned, as she pressed her girlfriend against a random locker, resting her outstretched hand against Tori's stomach. "We only got a few minutes before the bell rings."

Jade was trying to get some lip action before lunch was over. She would not get to see Tori again until school let out; that was practically forever.

"Sorry, my mind is preoccupied," Tori said, uttering a loud and rather discernible sigh.

Jade knew her well enough to know that something was wrong. And being Jade West, she made no attempt to ask her what was wrong for fear that Tori might actually tell her.

Jade was about to try to get some action again when she felt a weird disturbance behind her. She did not have to turn around to know who it was.

"My jackass senses are tingling," she uttered loud enough so that both her girlfriend and the person behind her could hear. She then cocked her head slightly, confirming that her intuition was correct. She was about to give him a piece of her mind (and fist) when Tori sparred her the trouble.

"André," Tori said, her voice seemingly indifferent.

"Hey Tor, can I talk to you for a sec," he said, before turning to Jade. "Alone."

"Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of my girlfriend," Tori declared, making Jade grin. She still got giddy whenever Tori called her that; especially when it was in front of other people.

"Yeah," Jade agreed, feeling the need to defend her, even if she really did not give a fuck about what he had to say. "It's not like I am going to listen anyway."

She continued to stand there, letting him know that she was not about to budge. The fact that he wanted her to leave made her want to stand there even more. Fortunately, he seemed to pick up on this tidbit of information.

"I guess, well, uh, ya know, and all that," he fumbled around, before finally muttering, "Sorry."

"What was that?" Jade asked, sticking her ear out like she was an elderly person in an old time cartoon. "I did not hear you." She really did, but she loved seeing him eat humble pie.

"I am sorry I was such a gank," he said, raising the volume of his voice loud enough to be heard in South Carolina.

Jade snickered at that, then turned to her girlfriend who had a very unreadable expression at the moment. She wondered if Tori wold accept his apology. She knew that she wouldn't. Not unless he bought her something expensive. But Tori was all goody goody and shit.

"Oh, thanks," Tori finally said, her voice as undecipherable as her face.

"Well, I guess I will see ya in class. Or whatever," he said with a shrug. He picked his backpack off the ground and started walking away.

"Yeah, see ya," Tori said in response, a small sigh escaping as she spoke.

Jade felt herself tense up. She did not like to see her girlfriend upset; unless she was the one that did it.

"Babe, it will be okay," she said sincerely, putting a hand on Tori's bony shoulder. Even though she should feel sympathy, her only thought was that Tori should really look into Pilates, and maybe do some free weights to put a little bit of muscle on her scrawny frame.

"I should get to class before the bell rings," Tori said, breaking away and reaching down to pick up her own bag off the floor.

Not knowing what to say, Jade merely nodded and let her girlfriend go on her not so merrily way. Once Tori was out of sight, she made her own descent in the opposite direction. Unlike her significant other, she was not worried about making it to class on time; she never was.

Along the way, she was stopped by a Freshman who was either bold or stupid. (she was leaning towards stupid)

He decided to remind her of her unflattering picture. That was until she showed him a much worse sight; the sight you get when you piss off Jade West when she was not even in a good mood to begin with.

"You should really go change your pants," she said, pointing to the discernible wet spot that had manifested on the crotch area of his skinny jeans.

Watching him run off while vainly trying to conceal his embarrassment definitely made her feel better. Still, this was getting troublesome. Something would have to be done, otherwise she may end up having to maim half the school.

That settled it; she was going to do something. And by do something, she meant that she was going to to get her friends to fix her problem while she sat back and did nothing.

* * *

Jade walked into the Vega household in a very foul mood. It had been bad enough when everyone thought that she was picking her nose, now a majority of the school believed that her and Robbie were an item. She honestly did not know which was worse.

She spotted her girlfriend sitting on the couch, glasses on, reading one of those lame romance novels that she loved. She made a grunting sound to let Tori know that she had arrived.

"Hey, Pumpkin Spice," Tori greeted, looking up from her book.

"Hey," Jade half-heartily responded. She began unlacing her left boot.

"You look hot. Do I take it your plan worked?"

"I wish," she said, unlacing the other and letting them fall off her feet. "And after I wasted all that time coordinating the perfect outfit."

"Aww!" Tori said, doing her signature pout. "I wish I had been there."

"Trust me, you don't," she assured, flopping down next to Tori and putting one of her arms around her. "So how did your song go?"

"Good. And then bad. He liked it, but he wouldn't buy it because a baby cried when he heard it. Don't ask me, I didn't get it either."

Jade could not help but scoff at that. And this guy was a famous song writer? "He's a dumbass," she assured, as she ran her fingers through long brown locks. "And you still got Mason."

"Yeah," Tori responded, still appearing to be a bit upset. "Oh, and I understand that congratulations are in order."

Jade looked up, highly confused. She did not know what Tori could be referring to. The only thing that came to mind was getting a B+ on her history report. "What are you talking about?"

"You and Robbie. It pains me to lose you, but I won't stand in your way if you want to run off together. I just hope that you will still write me."

Jade felt her pulse raise; Tori knew all along. "You knew?" It was more of a statement than a question.

"The whole school knows. Cat tweeted again."

"I am going to strangle her with my bare hands!"

"Shh," Tori whispered soothingly, wrapping her skinny arms around Jade's waist. "I can take your mind off of it."

Jade raised her pierced eyebrow, highly interested. "And how do you propose to do that?"

"With something tasty to eat," she responded, grinning so much that her perfect cheekbones were sticking out.

"Family pot pie?"

"Actually, I was thinking of something else," Tori said, licking her lips in a highly suggestive manner.

That made Jade perk up. "Well," she said, pretending to think about it while putting her finger against her chin like she saw a professor on T.V. do once. Then, without warning, she said, "Last one upstairs has to put on the edible body glitter."

That began a race to be the the first one upstairs. As Jade ran up, doing her best to attempt to beat her girlfriend, she could not help but feel good. So much in fact that she decided that she was no longer going to fill Cat and Robbie's lockers with piranha tomorrow.

She would only use guppies.


End file.
